originality of opinions

Opinions, unlike matter, CAN be created and/or destroyed. If this is true, then how much of my own thoughts do I have complete control over? Maybe feeling as if my outlook, my view, on something, anything really, is entirely original, my own, is ignorant. My opinions must have been created by another, but I am incapable of grasping that thought. If all opinions are formed by others, where did it all begin? Who else questioned this? Who was the first? Undoubtedly, every idea circulating in my brain had to be stimulated by something(others' discoveries, opinions, ideas, and/or facts). My mind is uncontrollable. Even my own responses are not completely up to me. Everything goes back to my opinions that were molded by others', so what is my own? What are MY thoughts?

reality or dream?

Reality is coexisting with my fantasy. How do I define this state of mind? I feel as if I am sinking into insanity, and then again I don't. This mind set is difficult to escape yet possible to forget, to overcome. Everything around me appears to be a dream, not one that is an enjoyable escape from reality, though. It is one that makes me question the point in believing reality in the first place. I question my existence, my control of my life, my thoughts, my feelings. What exactly am I doing here scribbling this mind numbing nonsense down? Is this even real? Ha, what is 'real', again? I am starting to forget any of the truth behind all of this. Ha, what is 'truth', again? I have forgotten. Reality or dream? What is this again?